In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
