you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
