U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Randomize
