is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
