hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
