idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
