After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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