I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
