He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
