google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
