I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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