it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
