You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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