hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
