If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
