Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
