So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
