well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
