who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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