Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm like, not good at living.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
