hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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