Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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