i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
