so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
