I think I died a long time ago.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
