I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
