she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
