it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
