Can Purell be used as lube?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This baby is an asshole
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
