there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
