I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
barbara walters just said penis...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
