this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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