Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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