i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
