And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
