we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
