You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
