Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
