We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
