I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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