it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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