I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize