Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We talked him into tasing himself.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
