Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
