I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
