You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Randomize
