I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
