they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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