The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
