Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
