Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize