Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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