So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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