hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
