How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
