Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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