no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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